Open Office, Closed Future
The cartoon mocks tech companies that market themselves as champions of openness, collaboration, and the public good while aggressively locking down data, models, and methods the moment real access is at stake. Their openness is architectural and aesthetic, not substantive.
A bright, minimalist AI startup headquarters is giving a press tour beneath a huge aspirational wall mural that says “OPEN THE FUTURE.” Smiling founders in matching hoodies gesture proudly around an open-plan office full of glass walls, communal tables, and trendy transparency branding. But the actual workspaces are absurdly cordoned off: each desk sits inside a tiny velvet-rope enclosure with brass stanchions, and monitors, whiteboards, and even coffee mugs carry little tags reading “Patent Pending,” “Proprietary,” or “Do Not Scrape.” In the background, a janitor quietly loads the office doors onto a cart; each removed door has a shipping tag that reads “Training Data Access Restricted.” Reporters take notes, noticing that everything branded as open is literally protected, gated, or being wheeled away.